This is my heart bleeding before you... [entries|friends|calendar] Allie [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(11 thoughts | share your thoughts) [20 Oct 2005|08:13am] It's so frustrating when you're lying in bed at 7:30 debating whether you should skip your 8AM class or not, but then you go only to find out it's cancelled and you have nothing else to do until 2 in the afternoon. PEACHY! News: I am moving. I work for Starbucks. The house thing totally didn't work out. I live in a small ass cube in the corner of the basement with no window and lot sof bugs. It is an illiegal apartment, needless to say. So, somehow, I was blessed by Miss Joan Devine from my Art History classes with a fabulous room to live in downtown. I move in next weekend. New Address: 6 Howe St. Apt #2 Bristol, RI 02809 I need visits people, especially now that I'm not totally ashamed of where I live. Woo!!! I'm pumped. Plus, she has a sweet doggie named Fred. Last night was my first night at the Bucks. I drank so much coffee. I came home and speed typed the rest of my hellacious paper for Deb the Demon. SEVEN revisions of a 12 page paper, each being completely different... I need sympathy. Also, I must admit, I am obsessed with my boyfriend. He's so good to me and he's so sexy. It will have been one year in 2 weeks. Time flies. Time to meet with Deb... what else is new? ♥

(3 thoughts | share your thoughts) [23 Sep 2005|10:19pm] [ mood | sad ] So.... here I am: Fiday, 10pm, verge of tears, hollow heart, home alone, first cold night since being here. I dunno... Ignorance is bliss and I just don't know how some people can just float through life. I'm jealous. I mean, I wouldn't rather be dead, but I just can't get happy. I need a home. I need rest. I need someone to talk their ears off to, but someone who gets me. Joey and I are so drastically different. I knew it all along, but it's just getting so much more and more painfully obvious everyday. But then I think, if he's not what I'm looking for, then who is? Ugh! It's so hard being here. I'm comepletely disengaged from everyone that means worlds to me, from familiar street corners, constant bustle, and always a place to go: cheap movie, little affordable stores, CD shops, cafes. Why these things do not exist here is beyond me, but they don't. I'm bored, lonely, uninterested, and stuck in this awful cycle of motions... wake up, pretend to feel good about how I look, dress myself, caffeinate myself, go to class, go to work, lay around. Wow. How thrilling. I went to the gym today with hopes of burning off frustration. It didn't work. I need someone to go with. I just do. I cried mid-mile so hard on the inside. I have no release. I've been criticized lately for being too moody, too horny, too sad, too... anything else that's bad. Why can't I be good enough? It can't happen over night, I realize, but I must be doing something right... Wait. I am. Everyone else is just doing everything wrong. I can't snap out of this. Whenever I'm here, there, I just can't be anything but this. I usually don't get like this until the first snow either. I feel nauseous. ♥

(3 thoughts | share your thoughts) [27 Jun 2005|11:01pm] and apparently we're adopting a pug/terrier mix named "SPINKLES" by the end of the week. what a day!

(10 thoughts | share your thoughts) [08 Aug 2004|01:34pm] Comment to be added ♥ Allie

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